I've recently started an intentional practice of regularly taking a walk in the woods near my home as a self-connection ritual. This was born out of my recent studies to become a certified grief coach. While rainy weather or other interruptions may interfere with this practice, I certainly have a better sense of myself for the day when I do embark on my walk, without my AirPods in my ears, of course.
Nature has always spoken to me.
It's the voice of God speaking to my heart.
It gives me peace to see the world that has little to no interference of man, existing as it should.
In the field before the forest entrance, I see:
The butterflies fluttering about
The dragonflies darting to and fro above my head
The deer that stops me in my tracks, as we capture a gaze in each other's eyes,
They are like a hug from God to me.
I feel enveloped in love.
As I approach the entrance to the woods, I am faced with a decision.
The fork in the path.
To the left is the shortest and easiest path.
To the right is the longer and more difficult trail,
Filled with puddles, ruts, and rougher terrain.
I pause, worried I might not have the stamina to turn right.
The route to the left would be so easy to take, and yes, I've walked it plenty of times.
But the decision to the right would take me to two separate lookouts over the Ridge that has a beautiful river winding its way below. I may catch a glimpse of some deer stopping for a drink, but there is no guarantee.
The funny thing is, no matter my decision, both routes lead to the same final path.
I reflect that this is how God's purpose for our lives can play out.
While His Purpose for our life at any given time will be the final result, how we get there can play out in several scenarios.
Some of those experiences are due to the path we have chosen, while others may result from circumstances in our lives that perhaps we didn't choose, but the things of this world influenced our route.
I definitely did not choose the route of my life over the last three years. Jessca's cancer diagnosis, treatment, and death were and continue to be the most difficult path of my life. That right turn at that fork in the trail was nothing I would ever choose or recommend.
What that path taught me was nothing I could ever have learned from a textbook, YouTube video, or ChatGPT.
The compassion I now possess for others traveling a similar path is something I thought I had, but I've realized that it was a trait that was in a mere embryonic stage.
Supporting others in grief and loss has become somewhat of a passion in my life.
God has truly led me in this direction, and while the tragedy and pain were and still are something I will never completely heal from on this earth, I will take that pain and turn it into purpose to be present for others in the way He leads me.
I know my Jess is cheering me on from above. She was always so proud of me when I embarked on a new venture, as I was of her.
I miss her so much, but I will move forward while honouring her in all I do.
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it."
Isaiah 30:21
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